My church

Ive been going there since I was a boy. My church, sanctuary, and home. A preacher who taught me not only his techniques on how to hurt a guy but so much more. A father figure in a time when I really didn't have one. A person I could confess to when I did wrong. A teacher who would make sure I would have good morals and principles even if it meant beating it into me.

I grew up with cocky older brothers who would pick on me and than be consoled by younger sisters who would pick me back up. We not only went every week but everyday in our uniforms. We didn't clap with our hands, we clapped with our feet against the pads. We didn't sing, we yelled the count in harmony. We had commandments that we followed and were proud to recite it at the end of class. And we didn't shake hands at the end because we had to, we did it because we dam well respected one another every single time.

Nothing has changed since than. Perhaps thats why I feel Ive never needed a religion to follow. Ive learned all that I needed to learn to be a good person and more there. And no matter how many times I lose, I win by being lucky enough to have been with them all for so many years. That is worth so much more than any medal.

Apollo

One day there was a boy playing in the fields with his friends. He stopped for a moment when he caught a glimpse of the sun. He went over and talked with her for a while. After that he played less with his friends and talked to the sun more often. He started talking to her weekly, than daily. He played with her every day and would talk to her until she went down and again when she came back up. He liked her so much that he took some sunshine and folded it into his back pocket.

On dark days he would reach into his pocket and call out to her. When she responded, the clouds would lift and the day became bright. On cold nights he would call out to her again. When she responded, he would feel warm and snug.

It went on and on until one day he became sad. He knew even though he could keep some sunshine in his back pocket, he could never touch the sun herself. Not only because he was worried about being burned, but because she was so far away.

After some thought he realized something. He realized that from a distance, the sun was able to give him so much already. Thanks to her light he grew like a flower. Everyday growing more confident, secure, and strong. Her light helped him see a brighter future when the way was clouded and uncertain. And every time he managed to get close enough to her, he melted.

To this day the boy still watches from a distance appreciating what she has already done for him. However he still day dreams of one day going up and being her Apollo.

Architect

Things never sway or collapse in my world

They never topple, fall, crumble, or falter

Everything is as it was the day before and never altered

No dark holes to fall through

No sense in watching my step

No moments of tense caution or checking the water for its depth

I'm not worried you see

Why should I be?

Everything is laid out for me

All I have to do is lie with it

But I'm not free

I'm bound to it

Depend on it like its my crack or my crutch

Pretend that its alright to create a lack of touch

Mind numbing, repetitive, and boring routine

Grind filled, replicated daily with no one to yell "Cut!" to end this scene

Its maddening but so very necessary

Its saddening but so very contemporary

As so many of us follow this trend called life

I wonder if there is anything more than what will just suffice

To be able to twist, mold, and contort

To be the artist, cold in his need to do it without support

To be the god that bends the day

To be the devil that tends to the night and than throws it away

To be the actor who decides what role to play

To be the director that yells "Cut!" to end the scene with no delay

Sad wishful thinking

So I'll keep quiet for now and keep on drinking

Irony for a coin

I walk by so many people daily. In the morning people say hi to me on the busy streets and there are cars nearly hitting me at every corner. At night I go to a party with about 50 people in one small basement and 50 cops right outside making sure to punish anyone who gets out of hand. In the afternoon I take the train where there is no such thing as personal space. Where a drunk woman can lay her head on your shoulder, pass out, and have her boy friend threaten you in one ear while a homeless man asks for change in the other all in the span of 5 seconds.

I interact with so many people at every part of the day and yet I get lonelier with every New York minute that goes by. How pathetic is that? A city of hundreds of thousands of people and your only companion is the city itself. The thought of it being like this any longer hurts. Its an ache that refuses to go away so I carry it with me where ever I go. It seems my aches are looking for a companion too. Clinging to me, annoying me more than the homeless man and the asshole boy friend. Says hi more than any other person on the street. Crowds me more than 50 people in the small basement and punishes me more than the 50 cops right outside. It may even be more dangerous than getting hit by a car at every corner.

Have no sympathy for me. Its all ok and fine. I'm just a little worm in the big apple.

Hello

This is my first blog. Never made one since I never really knew what the hell a blog was. The idea to make one was inspired by Ms.Cali-for-nia who happens to be inspiration for a lot of things including the name "Mr.Coinman" itself.

Most people that look at the name of the blog may think this blog is about my take on political issues or how I feel about certain subjects which may be the case eventually, but for now its just to be clever. How I write this blog is yet to be determined but it will most likely involve my experiences, feelings, and thoughts of my everyday life in poetic form. I don't know if it will entertain anyone or not, but if it does than great.

So thats about it. Don't really know what else to put for a first post. Hope all two of you readers enjoy the blog.