I had some time to think and reflect on some things. When I did I came to the realization of how immature and selfish I can be. You told me you were in a slump and I just persisted and pursued like a needy child. I guess part of it was that I was so frustrated I couldn't help you. I wanted to do something but clearly it only made things between us a little worse. My paranoia was getting the best of me because just the thought of not having you around anymore depressed me. My paranoia reached other people too and now I need to fix things with them. Still its no excuse for how I was behaving. Like I told you my mind isn't at a good place so I guess judgement was out of the question.

The phone call that I begged for I think was a misunderstanding to a point. I didn't call you to tell you how much I needed you to call me back but to tell you why I was acting the way I did. It didn't come out right. I needed to get those feelings off my chest and even though it didn't end well, I'm glad you gave me those 5 minutes. Either way I can't believe the way I was acting and quiet frankly I'm embarrassed. I don't know if all this makes a difference or if you even bother reading this, but just know that I didn't mean for my emotions including fear get the best of me. Certain things were and are still taking its toll on me and thats all thats really left. I hope you have the patience to put up with me, but if you don't I cant hold it against you. You mean a lot to me and I promise this wont happen again.